Once or twice a year I am struck by the adventuring spirit. Unfortunately for me, most frontiers have already been explored, plotted, and franchised by McDonald’s. So what is left? I guess there is always space but I prefer a warmer climate. So I stay in my office chair and take a sojourn in the digital mess of downloaded music, .doc’s, and porn that is my computer. During my most recent excursion, I found a gem–an email my professor sent to me my sophomore year in college:
Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2004 11:18:19 -0500
From: [Name omitted]
To: [Eng L202 class]
Subject: Your PapersDear L202 Folks:
I have no idea how to tell you this. In nine years of teaching, I’ve never
had such a thing happen. Indeed, I’ve never heard of such a thing
happening.I kid you not: a rabid racoon has got your papers. And is shredding them.
And vomiting on them. Consequently, even after animal control comes (and
I’ve called animal control) the papers will be in no shape to be graded.Please e-mail me new copies of your papers as soon as you can. I know who
turned them in. In fact, I had about half of them graded when this happened
(the raccoon made no discrimination between graded and ungraded
work–apparently both are equally good for the purposes of shredding and
vomiting).I’ll give you the full story Monday. I have no idea exactly how to tell it
right now.
I got a B.
