Adventures on Yahoo! Answers

Hi-res photorealistic computer model of a chameleon. (Img obtained from: http://n64media.ign.com/media/previews/image/chame1.jpg, 9/20/10)

Question: Wanting to get a chameleon! Help!?

I would like to know how much and what they eat and other basic details like cage size and humidity! Thanks a bunch! – Monica Square

Answer

Chameleons are easy. I believe you can keep them in your pocket if your pockets are big enough. You may want to make sure the pocket has a flap you can fasten shut. Cargo pockets are wonderful but if you don’t have any cargo pockets lying around, you can staple a Ziploc bag to the waistband of any other type of pants or shorts.

Humidity is a bit trickier. It’s very easy to make things too humid. For example, I once threw a chameleon into a bathtub of warm water. It swam around and seemed to flourish for a bit, which brings me to my next point: Chameleons are piss poor climbers. This chameleon couldn’t make it out of the tub to save his life, which, incidentally, was the case here. As you can see, it’s very easy to over humidify a chameleon. The best thing is not to try.

As for food, chameleons will eat just about anything. I fed mine a tin can before he drowned in the bathtub.

Much like cars, chameleons come in a wide range of prices. Take a Ford Pinto, for example. You can pick up one of these from somebody’s front yard, and they’ll likely thank you for it. Same with chameleons. If middle age is staring you in the face and you’re trying to avoid making eye contact, you can pick up a Ferrari-type chameleon. These are a good diversion from your family, mortgage and other responsibilities. They’re also good for picking up girls half your age.

I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. – Justin S

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