Justin Swing is a starving writer, fresh out of college. With his life laid out in front of him, he has a bounce in his step, retsin on his breath, and the world in his pocket. His background is in English literature and new media. While his primary passion is writing and learning, he is also an amateur road cyclist who hopes to one day place in a race so he can win the $10 purse and officially call himself a semi-professional cyclist.
While he is currently involved in a money-making scheme where he trades eight hours of his day for money, he continues to search for work. Consider him if you or your company is hiring a writer or an otherwise well-spoken, well-written, astute, and smashingly handsome young man with a minor drinking problem.
His skills include multitasking, articulating, analytical thinking, consuming a 2-liter of Diet Coke without getting full, and standing around the water cooler pretending to have watched last night’s popular prime-time drama.
Three positive words that describe him are:
1) Fried
2) Green
3) Tomatoes
Three negative words (with no positive form) are:
1) Nonchalant
2) Nonpareil
3) Indomitable
In five years, he plans to continue making as many flippantly random quips as he does brilliantly witty ones; although he’ll be doing so from behind a desk in his own office, making you feel uncomfortable enough to laugh at a joke you don’t quite understand. Is your job at risk if you don’t laugh? He certainly won’t tell you.
In ten years, he plans on being forced from his position for doing this. He will then retire young on a tidy severance package.
He knows you are a very busy person and thanks you sincerely for you time. He can also fetch you coffee and wash your car during his lunch break.
